FREYA SERIES- A MEMORABLE SLAP

EPISODE TWO

Last Sunday I watched “The voice Nigeria” most importantly Timi dakolo's performance. One thing you must know about me is that I am very emotional so i take everything to heart. This goes out to my future bobo “Abeg don’t leave me stranded” I don wait tire but I will still wait, in  the main time no vex as I try out all materials before you wey get my correct size go arrive.

I am so sure that mumcee is doing this thing purposely because she knows that I didn't sleep at all. It got me thinking about a lot even my mind went to places that were  unimaginable but trust me I got it covered. Few minutes after 2am I heard a loud bang on the door with so much excitement I raced to open the door forgetting to check on the hole for who it may be. 

Na God save me oh my people if not na Linda Ikeji for carry my story say “ Girl was killed to death by her guy's angry wife” i know say you no read that last caption well but this one na only Linda fit explain. Make we return jare. So it was Kola’s wife who stumped my house with rubber of petrol and litter backed up by babalawo for incantation.

When I said life wasn’t fair I really meant it oh. Make una judge the matter na? I met a young man who is rich but does not have happiness in his marriage and I decided to act like Olivia Pope in scandal so I fit fix the marriage by doing side project. I can already feel your eyes coming down on me but the truth is if I don’t take care of things who will?. 

Right behind kola’s wife was mumcee trying to make way into the house. Now, I was cut between sitting with mumcee and getting her hot juicy gist or joining mumcee to beg kola’s wife. For my life I chose the second, today taught me two things- the first is if you are going out to destroy a ship buy life jackets so you do  not sink and secondly if you set out to destroy a ship and cause it to sink then learn how to swim.

Yesterdays para was not enough oh as this woman was not tru with me. “As you see me oh I no send you oh” naxo tubaba sing that time and true true e make sense die. For this life if people no learn to mind their business instead of to the dig grown to pour sand inside person garri wey e don take time to remove all the waste from inside. “God dey watch all of una” (minus me). 

Jeje I dey with my new date oh ( yea I forgot to gist you we met last week at titilayo's party) for shoprite naxo kola wife waka come my table come the make plenty noise calling me a home breaker. I am currently seeing the “Heroes Reborn” and I so much feel like I could be an Evos now and covet some dangerous powers to use on this woman but brothers and sisters na when slap land me for face na then I realize say the director of that series been reject me long ago. That’s how I found myself in the hospital with serious BP and fever.

When I gained consciousness I realized the slap came with lasting headaches and earaches I bet that you wouldn’t want to be a victim. Titilayo my update machine filled me in on all the beatings I received.

Babe if I no know you I for say kwarshorkor hold you for hand or maybe na because of the useless femi you were on a date with na why you no fit perform- speaking of femi, the guy ran away when the slap left you on the floor.

I am very sure that kola’s wife trained with the army maybe as the cook or cleaner but anyway that slap is one I refuse to forget years to come. It was time I laid off peoples marriages and stick on the search but that would be on hold as I am recuperating from the effect of the slap. 

After hours I was free to go home with Titilayo and mumcee who never stopped talking about the whole event and all the warnings she gave me prior to the incident.

I didn’t mind if my ear was missing all I wanted was the gist mumcee was set to give me as we got home. 

Freya if no be say na me born you I for think say na the devil wey dey at work and You be small pikin but that no be the case. You be big woman wey chest don full and back don overflow. You fit get any man wey you need but na this your eye wey no sabi stay one place wey go put you for trouble one day. I don tell you make you follow me come see prophet make e pray for you so that man go find you sharpenly but you no go gree.

I know say the only thing wey you dey wait for na the gist of my date. Hmmm I must say I felt both happy and sad opening myself up to someone again after many years since your father’s demise. After we had dinner and desert which he prepared by himself we spent all night talking about everything my daughter I couldn’t have asked for more.

Mumcee stop this thing na......tell me the main...... So you wan make I believe say you spent 5hours eating and talking?. 

Yes dear we did just that….

Its not fair oh naxo you come dey make me hail you for diary wey I been the update my people about.

Oya I go tell you because you get brain pass your brother wey don sell him brain exchange for drugs. Sammy was romantic to the very end. I have never felt so much love in such a longtime. He pampered me wella. He even told me there is something called French kiss abi fried kiss ( I no fit remember) and he showed me how it worked. Let me stop there and withhold details for minds that can’t process.

Rom it......contom it ( singing in Jennifer’s voice) 

We are definitely rolling out of here. That was a close one for freya but hold on that’s not all as Freya’s problem has only begun. The slap that transported her into a series and everything afterwards was indeed an eye opener.

On another episode of Freya she gets to meet her daughter makamba whom she never knew was alive. 

Let’s find out next week on the crazy life of Freya

Signing out is your Shakara lady all the way from yankee.

See you same time next week.